hi beautiful,
I had every intention of writing this to you on the day you entered this world. But, I've been too obsessed with holding you that I haven't had a second to put my thoughts into words.
Everyone says that you don't know true love until you hold your child, and boy are they right. You are the most incredible little human in the world. your personality is already so big. you have such an intense energy that I feel like I've known for so many lifetimes. to say your daddy and I are absolutely obsessed with you would be such an understatement.
I'm writing you this letter so you always know just how special you are to us. how special you are to me. you see, for a very long time I swore I wouldn't have babies, and then in August of 2019 I found out I was pregnant. a short 13 weeks later, we found out that we had a miscarriage. I never thought that would be what caused me to realize how badly I wanted babies, but I guess life has a way of showing you things.
Every single night for 6 or 7 months before I went to bed I would repeat "I can and I will birth a strong, happy, healthy, loving baby" over and over again. I know it sounds pretty crazy, but I've always been a big believer in speaking things into existence.
And here we are.
I can't promise you that I know what I'm doing. I can't promise you that I won't have moments where I slip up. but, what I can promise you is that I will always try my absolute hardest to be the best mom I can be. I promise that I will always be here for you, no matter what the situation is. I promise I will love you unconditionally. And I promise I will ALWAYS support whatever makes you happy.
you are the center of our worlds.
We love you so much.
Here is your birth story:
On Wednesday, October 28th there was an intense storm. Usually I'm the person who gets excited about storms, but this storm was different. It actually scared me enough to move all of us down into the basement where we would be safe if a tree fell over. The power decided to go out, and stay out for 20+ hours. The next day we remained home with no power.. and mind you it was getting pretty toasty in the house. So, your daddy, fur siblings, and I decided to go on a drive to grab some dinner (pizza from peace, love, pizza of course) and get some ice-cream and cool off. we drove to pick up the pizza, and then to brusters, dairy queen, and yoli-mogli.. they were all closed. we decided on our way home to stop by one more Dairy Queen. luckily they were open, and apparently we were the only people with this idea, because we waited like 20 minutes for some blizzards and chicken fingers I never ate. (surprise surprise)
we got back to the house, and the power was still out so we sat in the living room with a flashlight and ate our pizza and blizzards. I stood up to go to the bathroom, everything was normal. But then I sat back down on the couch and I thought I had peed myself, which was strange seeing as I JUST emptied my bladder. I didn't say anything to your dad, but then I did the exact same thing 10 minutes later, and that is when I realized that my water had broken.. or at least I thought it might have. I looked at your dad and said "I'm not sure if I just peed myself or if my water broke", his panicking began lol. We called your grandma and grandpa to come get myleigh and bubba, and then we were on our way to the hospital.
in the car ride over there your daddy was a little stressed out, but we were also so excited at the thought that we might get to meet you soon. we arrived at kennestone at 10:30pm, we were brought into triage to test whether or not my water had actually broken. the nurse came back into the room and said "well, the good news is that your water has broken.. the bad news is that you're not going home". we started to get excited, and they moved us to our suite. your first nurse was Michaela, her name is the only one I really remember.. but that's probably because she was the nicest lol.
the beginning of the night I was convinced that I wouldn't end up in pain, but I wasn't dilated much when my water broke. so, they gave me some medicine to help move it along. About 30 minutes in, I started to feel contractions.. which by the way are NOT fun at all. I buzzed Michaela in so tell her I was in a lot of pain. She said, "well I can give you more medicine to speed up the dialation.. but if we go that route then the pain gets worse. OR I can get you an epidural" needless to say we decided to go ahead and get the epidural. the man who administered it was the most calm human being I had ever met, and I was extremely grateful for him when I could not longer feel below my waste.
for a while after that you're blood pressure kept dropping and rising, which made our second nurse nervous that we might have to have you via c-section. so at around11:20am on 10-30-2020 your daddy went to the vending machines to get us some water, when he came back Dr. Cauthen and our nurse casually said "It's time to push".. your daddy and I looked at each other surprised and caught of guard. everything was just so calm and casual. but it was time, so we started pushing.
I had your daddy on my right side holding my head, my foot, and giving me an oxygen mask in between pushing. I had Dr. Cauthen up down below watching for you, and I had our nurse on my left side holding my other foot and helping Dr. Cauthen cheer me on.
35 minutes later you were here and in my arms. it was the most magical moment of my life. Until they started pushing on stomach, that shit was fowl.
Luna Kai, you are so incredibly loved. and I am forever grateful that you chose me to be your mommy.
I'm so excited to watch you grow, I'm so excited for all of the memories to come.
I love you forever and always, I promise.
xoxo
mommy
side notes:
Born: Kennestone Hospital, Room 15
3 day stay: Room 28